The first orgasm I ever had with a guy was in the shower with my college boyfriend, who was just using his hands. But that was the first and last time a hand job ever worked for me, in the shower or out of it. Later on I found I could only get off from oral, and sometime later it was only straight-up screwing that worked. The one commonality? Multiple orgasms are without a doubt the best part of being a woman. The good news is, for some women intercourse does the job…though maybe not as easily as it does for you. During missionary sex, this can be a simple matter of lining your hips up with hers.
No one actually needs to rally for the wonders of an orgasm when there's enough research—as psychologist and sex therapist Mary Jo Rapini explains—that the tremor-inducing release of serotonin and endorphins can boost the immune system and decrease stress and anxiety. But when there's still a wide "pleasure gap" to bridge today—the term describing the slim number of women who experience orgasms during sex in relation to men—the main question is how. Below, we consulted advice from across the scientific spectrum, from medical studies to sexperts to sex therapists, on ways to enhance the female orgasm and feel connected to your partner without giving up your primal right to come.